


Down

by anteachrist



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Sugawara Koushi, suga is sad and supportive beefcake boyfriend daichi is here to save the day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 07:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7565767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anteachrist/pseuds/anteachrist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you have good days and sometimes you have bad days. This just so happens to be one of the bad days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! i've wanted to write daisuga for a while but couldn't come up with an idea. i headcanon suga as a transboy and i was listening to 'down' by doddleoddle and this jumped into my mind. just a side note i wrote half of this at 3 o'clock in the morning so i apologize if it's awful.
> 
> enjoy! ~

  Sometimes you have good days, and sometimes you have bad days. This is one of the bad days. 

  It’s summer in Miyagi. Suga has always had a love-hate relationship with summer. He enjoys the time off school, and he loves spending time with his friends and boyfriend. Popsicles from the corner store melting and making his fingers sticky. Days spent in the company of the people he loves until the sun has worn him out. But the heat makes him dizzy and light clothing isn’t exactly a concept he’s all that comfortable with. He likes baggy sweaters and loose, thick t shirts, and absolutely refuses to wear shorts. So maybe it’s more hate than love, but he gets by. 

  Tears stream down Suga’s cheeks as he looks in the mirror. He hates the way his reflection looks. He always has. The roundness of his cheeks, the purple shadows under his eyes from sleepless nights. He hates his arms that are thin and frail and lack any sort of muscle or definition. His legs aren’t any better off. He hates his hands which are slender and rough, fingertips calloused and fingernails bitten to the beds from worry and anxiety. He’s skinny, so skinny,  _ too skinny.  _ W hen he dares to take off his sweaters he can see his hipbones rising under his flesh; his ribs too. 

  He grits his teeth, tearing his gaze away from the mirror. He bites down on his knuckle and chokes back a sob. His breathing is laboured and he knows he should take his binder off. It’s been on for too long and he knows better, damn it! But he can’t bring himself to do it. No matter how many layers he piles on he can’t forget it because ‘out of sight out of mind’ is fucking bullshit when it’s part of your body. It’s there, always there and he can  _ feel  _ it. At least when he has his binder on he can trick himself. Make himself feel better, even for just a little while. 

  Suga pulls the hood of his sweater over his head and crawls back into bed. He sobs silently into the sleeve of his hoodie, his knees pulled to his chest. He hears his phone buzz beside him and opts to ignore it. When it buzzes again, he reaches over to his bedside table to pick it up. 

 

_ from Daichi: _

**[16:43]** _ hey, haven’t heard from you all day, you doing okay? _

 

_ from Dachi: _

**[16:50]** hello??

 

_ to Daichi: _

**[16:50]** _ ya. just not feeling well, i’m ok tho. :*  _

 

_ from Daichi: _

**[16:51]** _ you should’ve told me. want me to come over?? _

 

_ to Daichi: _

**[16:53]** _pls.._

 

_ from Daichi: _

**[16:53]** _i’m on my way x_

 

  Suga doesn’t respond. Simply tosses his phone somewhere on his bed. He continues to cry, each breath he takes sending pain shooting through his ribs. He doesn’t know how long he lies there until Daichi arrives. He hears the door creak as it open and click as it shuts. 

  “Hey baby.” Daichi says, his voice gravelly from wear but gentle. Suga mumbles a greeting, but doesn’t turn over to face him. He feels the bed dip behind him, and finally makes the effort to turn over to face his boyfriend. He sniffles and looks up at Daichi, who’s sweaty from the heat outside and his skin has been kissed by the sun. Daichi is everything Suga wishes he was. Defined, masculine, strong. God, Suga wishes he was strong. The thought sends him into another wave of sobs. 

  “Oh, Suga, come here.” Daichi says softly, and Suga lets himself be propped up by Daichi, lets himself be moved until he’s sat between his legs, his back to Daichi’s chest. Daichi’s arms come around Suga’s middle and he flinches. He knows Daichi will feel how skinny he is, will feel his lack of muscle and he just wants to crawl out of his skin. One of Daichi’s hands come up to run through Suga’s hair and his lips fall to his neck, feeling the burning skin under his fingertips and pressed against his lips. 

  “Suga, baby, you need to get out of these thick clothes, you’re burning up.” he says, his hands finding the hem of Suga’s sweater. Suga whimpers and clutches his sides, preventing Daichi from pulling his sweater up. he shakes his head violently in protest. 

  “No! No, please.. I can’t, I can’t.” Suga says, breathing heavily between sobs, trying desperately to get words out. 

  “Suga you’re going to overheat.” he says, but not pulling Suga’s sweater any farther. 

  “But I need it Daichi..” he says, his body trembling. “I need it because if it’s off then you can see everything that’s wrong.” 

  “Wrong?” 

  “I’m wrong! Everything about my body is just wrong. I just wanna look the way I should Daichi..” Suga cries, hugging his arms around his middle. Daichi wraps his arms over top of his, pressing his face into Suga’s neck. 

  “You know what I think?” Daichi asks gently. Suga shrugs, sniffling. “I think you are the most handsome boy I have ever had the pleasure of seeing in my whole life.” Suga scoffs, more tears rolling down his cheeks. 

  “Don’t lie.. no one actually thinks I’m a real boy.” Suga says, his voice low. 

  “Do you think you’re a boy?” Daichi asks. Suga hesitates, surprised by the question. 

  “Well, yeah, I know I’m a boy.” he says. Daichi’s fingers link with his own, and his chin rests on his shoulder. 

  “Well that seems pretty real to me. The only one who can tell you who you are is you Suga. It doesn’t matter what you look like physically. If you say you’re a boy, then you’re a boy. Simple as that.” he says, kissing Suga’s cheek. “I love you for you, no matter how you look. You being absolutely gorgeous just happens to be a bonus.” 

   Suga smiles for the first time today. He leans back into Daichi’s chest and lets himself be held. Daichi strokes the back of his hand with his thumb, pressing gentle kisses to Suga’s neck. Suga can feel Daichi’s heartbeat. A slow and steady thrumming in his chest, and Suga feels like it’s the steadiest thing in his life. 

  “I hate to say it, but you really should take that sweater off.” Daichi says. Suga sighs shakily, but nods. 

  “Yeah, you’re right. Just, don’t look for a minute, okay?” he asks, shuffling out of Daichi’s grip and to the edge of the bed. 

  “As you wish.” Daichi says, covering his eyes with his hands. Suga can’t help the small laugh that escapes him. He peels the sweater over his head, wincing at the broad movement. He tugs at his binder, the sweat making the tight material stick to him. The fabric slips from his fingers and snaps harshly back against his skin, making him cry out in pain. 

  “Suga? You alright?” Daichi asks. Suga shakes his head, tears coming to his eyes again. 

  “I-I can’t get my binder off. I’m all sweaty and sticky and it hurts..” he whimpers, bringing a hand to his mouth. 

  “Can i help?” he asks. Suga mumbles out an agreement and he sees Daichi shift so he’s sitting behind Suga. “Lift your arms baby, I’ll be gentle.” Suga does as he’s told. He feels Daichi’s hands on his skin and shivers, the feeling not unfamiliar but it never fails to send shivers down his spine. Daichi tugs gently at the fabric until it’s finally pulled over Suga’s head and placed on his bedside table with care. Suga takes a few deep breaths, his lungs filling fully and properly like they should. 

  “Thank you.” he mumbles, covering his chest with his arms. 

  "Yeah, of course. How long have you had that thing on?” Daichi asks, running his fingertips along Suga’s shoulder blades and down his spine. 

  “Too long..” Suga asks, biting at his thumbnail. 

  “You’re bruising. Please try to be more careful, I don’t want you getting hurt.” Daichi says, leaning down to press tender kisses to suga’s bruised ribs. He sighs, running a hand through his damp hair. “Lay down with me baby.” 

  Suga complies, quickly crawling under the covers, self conscious at being topless, but too exhausted to make the effort to get a t shirt from his dresser. Daichi pulls his own t shirt over his head, tossing it unceremoniously onto the floor before crawling under the covers alongside Suga. 

  Skin brushes against skin as Daichi pulls Suga into him. Suga lays his hand on his chest, right above his heart. He looks up at Daichi, eyes wide and bloodshot. Daichi’s warm eyes meet his own and he smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. Suga practically melts into a puddle at his touch, a pleasurable warmth spreading throughout his whole body. Daichi pulls away, pressing a kiss to the smaller boy’s forehead. 

  “You’re beautiful Suga, don’t ever forget that.” he says, his voice almost a whisper. 

  “I love you, Daichi.” 

  “I love you too.” 

 


End file.
